growing UP

It's weird...I remember when I was little, ALL I wanted to do was grow UP. Now that it has happened, now that I am a "responsible" adult, growing UP is the last thing I want to do. I'd give anything to go back to the simple life of a tot. Being an adult is HARD, let alone trying to be a responsible one. I have to pay the bills. That alone is a mighty feat. I have to make money, that means I need a job...so, I have one. It's one I dislike, it's not what I got my college degree in. Apparently, degree = expensive piece of paper that I can't use, if only I would have known. At least, I pay the bills though, right? I'm not saving...but I'm not putting myself into further debt either.

Being an adult means taking responsibility for your actions. Before I was just put into timeout, scolded or given plenty of chances to get things right. There is no timeout in real life, no time to take a breather and figure your shit out before being allowed to come back into the office, house, etc. It's there right in front of you, life. Decisions are made in the moment. I have to be productive every day. I can't skip work, EVEN if I am sick.

I have a dog, as a result of bringing a dog into my life I took on yet another responsibility. Feeding and exercising her daily is a must, no questions asked. Growing up if my sister or I forgot, there was always the parents to fall back on. There were 4 people responsible, that means I only had 25% responsibility and that seemed a lot! Don't get me wrong I love that I brought her into my life. She's probably the best thing that has happened, really got my butt in gear, literally. but that's another post altogether. Isn't she cute? :)

Being an adult makes me realize a part of this world that I have avoided for so long. Why I chose for the longest time to be uneducated about the world around me I will never know. I always tip-toed around the outside trying to avoid the talks about government, policy, ethics, morals, etc. This wasn't something that interested me. I never followed bills hitting the floor and the people behind it or against it. Growing UP has made me realize that I need to be more aware and fight for my rights, to do research, know both sides of the story. I need to be educated about the world around me. I can no longer allow myself to be ignorant. So, if this is what it's like to grow UP, to become more aware. I can handle that. I'm no longer tip-toeing, I'm diving straight in...